godzvayne (godzvayne) wrote,
godzvayne
godzvayne

rhhhhtrhhjhnytj

The insomnia is fucking murder on me, and when i actually sleep, the nightmares are horrific. My body is starting to fail....i already had a lot on my shoulders, and when she was by my side, the burdens were not so hard to carry...but now that she is gone....i reached my breaking point...i always knew i depended on her alot internally, and i was always afraid to depend to much...because of something like this...everytime someone lifts me up inside, they take me down three times more....its ridiculus, and it will just keep happening...ive lost my hope, and ive lost myself....yeah sure ill keep working and going to school and acting like nothings wrong....

But on the inside...im gone....ive completely lost myself and my will to do anything...i work because i have too..i am continuing school because i have too...if i faltered in either, i would be letting a whole lot of other people besides myself down...

but oh how many times havei thought of dropping unf and just going to work everyday instead.................

Like i said....ive lost more than just the person that meant the most to me in this world...ive lost myself...and i hate me for letting it go.
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